Mr Ashley Frieze
9 Claremont Road
Spital Tongues
Newcastle. 
NE2 4AN.

Tel.: (091) 261-9731.

13 March, 2002.

Dear Rob,

Your continuous thanks for my large letters is making me worry about getting the size of this one right. I know that size should not be of importance, but even now I am worrying whether or not I will be able to make it long enough...

Ha di ha di ha di ha. Right that was my allotted innuendo for this page. Please inform your solicitor if I may any more lewd suggestions before page 2 starts.

My exams are over. Yippee. I have now completed 45% of my degree course; quite a scary thought really. I hope I have not arsed up any of the exams more than I think... It has been quite weird, I have actually been getting a fair amount of revision done, I have been revising with Simon Glentworth, and a chap from the course called Iain. You'd probably like Iain, he is not easy to dislike (I think that might be a half-hearted lytote [my spelling might just have left my vocabulary down]) one of the most interesting things about Iain is his amazing ability to produce a story and or information about any subject you'd care to discuss. I had a 2 hour conversation with him about love, and he was going on about how it did not exist and how his fiancee (he is 26) and he had an arrangement and how sex was just sex, at the end of the conversation, he casually remarked;

"Oh, by the way, I have been bullshitting for the past (looked at his watch) 2 hours now, I told you I could be a politician if I wanted to..."

He does have a vast memory for facts aswell, he is quite an interesting guy. Revising with him does have its drawbacks; 20 minutes revision, 1 hour conversation and guitar playing and then more revision. However, those 20 minutes are normally very productive. We have various O'Brien mnemonics that we create to remember all the facts, and by explaining parts of the notes to each other, we actually understand the work.

However, Simon can spoil Iain's and my concentration. Sessions that just included Iain and I, went a lot better. However, the exams are over now, and so I will find out what came of it all.

One interesting thing that Iain, Simon and I deduced, was that if we worked like we revised over the whole of the year, we would all get full marks, and we would probably have a full stage act (references to the hours spent on guitar).

I must confess that I pissed myself when I got your postcard with your self-congratulations on the address, when the address was wrong. You got the number and the postcode wrong, but close...

A quick thought about visits. Give me a call in Leeds to talk about a trip. I am planning to come down and see Ol at some stage, and I would like to see Exeter also, I also have to be in London on and off at the end of this month, so I may just arse around the south of England visiting everyone. 

As an epilogue to that story about Phil - the absolutely nutty passenger, the police have been wondering how a particular escaped convict got back to Tyneside from where he escaped. Apparently very dangerous, he managed to find his way back to his home town (where he was apprehended) and the police have only found some of the links in his journey. They don't know how he got up the A1...

Interesting...

[I have cut a large section here in which I discussed the plot of a film I'd conceived... it would be both conceited and pointless to include that here - especially since it only alludes to the plot, which was mentioned in a previous letter]

With a bit of luck, I shall be off to see Rolf Harris tonight. I say luck, because I think Simon may have loused up the buying of the tickets so I may not get to see him. I hope I do.

I had a strange dream the other day about playing piano on television with Chris Evans, and I could not remember how to play Imagine - nuisance...

I am desperately trying to clean the flat, but I keep getting distracted which is absolutely annoying, but a lot easier on me.

Get in touch, and I will make up for this lack of letter with a conversation...

Until next time

I made the end of the page...