Episode 4

The Oozing - Part 1

Sweaty, full name Gary Spotter, a fat sweaty ball of pus, finds mysterious magical powers after having an accident in his bed during a storm. Now studying at an Academy for similar souls, his first love affair has ended painfully. He decides to take a summer job to take his mind off things...

Walking past the notice boards, which had been advertising their notices to the member of the Academy for over fifty years, Sweaty caught sight of a brightly coloured five-inch-square card. The day-glo pink was not what caught his attention, though, it was the single word that was written on the card that stopped him in his tracks:

RETREAT?

Since his misfortunes with Laura, Sweaty had been hiding from most of the people he knew. Even within the confines of his own home he had adopted a tiny shape in order to avoid being seen by any of his neighbours, who were long accustomed to turning their eyes and noses very far away from his house. Retreat had been the main thing on his mind. Even though Laura's parting gift, the appendage of some unwelcome grapes to his body, had now healed, leaving the tiniest of scars, Sweaty still felt ashamed to be seen in public. Having resorted to lying about himself in order to attract a partner, Sweaty was feeling a fool. He needed time to rethink his relationship with the world, and the sign intrigued him.

On closer inspection, which was difficult due to the diminutive stature that Sweaty shared with all fat sweaty balls of pus, the notice turned out to be an offer of work at a winter resort. As Sweaty strained to read the entire notice, he cursed softly under his breath. Unable to change his form, as a result of Academy rules, he was sweating quite profusely, the sweat running into his eyes, blurring his vision. As he paused to wipe his brow, he cursed both his creator, for giving him a body that was basically spherical, meaning that he was not able to get too close to the noticeboard and not tall enough to see the notice at eye level, and the person who put up the noticeboard. Since all fat sweaty balls of pus in the academy had similar trouble in reading the notices, Sweaty wondered why the board was ever placed so high.

The janitor, Mr MacAdam, who was probably responsible for Sweaty's notice board problems, walked past and Sweaty reined back his anger. Having decided that the job was for him and having determined that nobody was looking, he extended his arm - literally - and plucked the notice from the board. With his prize safely tucked between two particularly generous folds of his flesh, Sweaty hurried across the checkerboard tiled floor and out of the front door of The Academy.

Once home, Sweaty decided to call the number on the job advertisement. They wanted someone to go and stay in their hotel The Outlook for the month of August, during which it was closed. The successful applicant had to be strong and able to perform a few simple maintenance tasks on the premises including painting, scrubbing and tending the gardens. Since the hotel was a ski resort with no snow in summer, the owners hired a live-in caretaker for the month of August so they could take a holiday themselves. Sweaty arranged an interview for the following day with the agency who would decide if he was suitable to take on the caretaking job.

That night, Sweaty's resolve strengthened. He was going to get that job and he was going to use the month's labours in the fancy hotel as a way of focusing his mind on his problems. Nothing helps you think better than hard labour, which always made him wonder why it is most often people with no capacity for thought that work in those jobs. Sweaty hoped that they would be able to keep him busy enough to work out what he wanted from his life. If nothing else, he could decide whether he wanted to spend another year at the Academy, which seemed to offer thorough, but also pointless, training. As the sounds of a busy evening in the outside world subsided to the whisper of night, Sweaty drifted off to sleep with thoughts of fresh summer air and the honest sweat of honest labours.

In the morning, Sweaty adopted his best attempt at a rugged body and went along to the interview. The interviewer, Lisa Raymond, was very interested in Sweaty - she took a positive shine to him. Having found out that he was physically fit, available for a few days before and after the contract, and that he had no family, who might steal his attentions while in their employment, she gave him the job, and her phone number. More interested in the former than the latter, his desire for women somewhat lessened by recent bitter experience, Sweaty left the interview in a bouyant mood.

15 February 2001
Ashley Frieze