| Abroad in Dublin | home |
Our evening meal was at Number 27, The Green, which is, apparently, Ireland's finest restaurant, or so it claimed. I must be honest and point out that we were not accustomed to dining in this way. In fact, isn't there some sort of rule that you're not meant to eat a meal that costs more than the clothes you're wearing? I've no idea, but it was a special occasion and it would have been wrong not to splash out on the best.
We were sat in a corner of the restaurant, which was not particularly busy. Another couple were eventually seated in the same part of the room. We had a table covered in glassware, but not cutlery. Apparently, they avoid you having the embarrassment of knowing which item of cutlery to use by bringing most of it with the food - a nice wee clue for you. I suppose the glassware can be hinted at by being filled with the appropriate beverage by the waiter. This all seemed pretty self explanatory and we ordered appropriate starters and main courses for our tastes.
However, after the starter, a special "appetiser" course appeared. This was delivered in a small cup and its handle was rotated in our general direction. It appeared to contain some sort of buttery/milky froth. Given the cup delivery and the liquid, it seemed appropriate to lift it to the lips and sip. I didn't know what you were meant to do with it. Tentative sipping revealed that it contained a combination of mussels and gnocchi. This seemed inappropriate for drinking, so I reverted to fishing with a fork. We really had no idea what the etiquette was, and so we looked across to the neighbouring couple to see what they'd made of theirs. They were drinking them. But then they may have just copied us, ignorant themselves of the rules. Or they may have seen us making fools of ourselves and followed suit to try to make us feel like we weren't alone. Perhaps that course and its delivery were an invention of the waiters and chefs so they could have a laugh at our uncertainty from a series of hidden cameras. We'll never know.
The service was very good. The waiters perpetually kept the table clean by combing crumbs from it at every opportunity. We too were very careful and kept our table as clean as possible during the courses. We probably had the cleanest table in the place. The waiter/chef crew, laughing at the guests from behind the cameras were probably saying "They drank that appetiser, rather than eating it with the hidden chopsticks, but they kept the table ever so clean... cleanest table in the place."
Anyhoo, the main courses worked well and the coffee and petit fours were good too. Not sure that's really important. The bottom line is we ended up back in the bar in good spirits. Our negotiations through the minefield of eating posh hadn't caused enough distress to Caroline to spoil her mood. We had drinkies and then, at last orders, they flashed the lights. Caroline asked "Why do they flash the lights?" and I replied "It's a way to save electricity." This made the barman laugh. I'm so funny I could shit! Maybe it would have been funnier if I'd said "It's a way to save a couple of kilowatt hours" - we'll never know.
We retired, job done.
I remember this evening for being the last time Caroline and I ever kissed (at least as a couple might kiss). I suppose it's good that it was a good end to a jolly day and an unusually passionate version of the way we had come to expect a kiss to turn out. For various unnecessary-to-explain reasons, kissing was the beginning and end of the event, but that moment was probably the highlight of our sex-life for the last 6 months. I'm glad we ended on a high. Not that I knew at the time that that's what we were doing. Had I known, I doubt I would have acted differently. I loved Caroline as much as I knew how. I continued to find her attractive throughout our relationship and was quite mystified when we were either very close or very distant. That's men... or me at least.
19 May 2004
Ashley Frieze