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I woke up in time to rush across town to attempt to get into Shakespeare For Breakfast with Mal. We stood in a non-moving ticket queue and did not get tickets. So, we adjourned to "Cholesterol for Breakfast" - the alternative name for the cafe round the corner where an amazing plateful of food could be bought for quite a reasonable price.
Following food, Mal and I adjourned to the Princes Street gardens for a brief walk and then some sitting on our arses on a bench in the shade. Resolving to see something we went to see Bad Play - I'd already seen it, but was happy to see it again.
Following another excellent performance of the play that is really awful, we trundled back to Mal's temporary abode to drop off his free sample of Imperial Leather foamburst ("it makes your bollocks nice and soft" is not their slogan), via Sainsbury's for some healthy pasta salad for me - they were out of unhealthy sandwiches, and then returned to town and went along to the Pleasance courtyard to chill out. On the way I tried the silly problem booth on the Royal Mile. Given that my problem was silly and the solution was silly, I basically paid a pound to talk complete horse-shite to someone who returned the complement with some horse-shite of their own. It was brilliant.
Over at the courtyard, we bumped into James Bachman of Population 3, whose Wicker Woman might be the only other show I'd be prepared to see again this fringe. After a brief chat, we got beer and sat relaxing in the courtyard. I say that we got beer but I'm misleading you, dear reader. Mal had beer, I had an orange-based drink. I had been expecting to perform on Saturday night at The Establishment, but received a telephone message (on Thursday) saying I was off the bill. Then I noticed my name on the chalkboard outside the venue on Saturday, asked someone and was told I was on the bill - so I stayed sober. I was on diet coke and orange juice all day. This is fair enough - I'm not really much of a drinker. However, I later found out that I was off the bill again, so all the thinking through my routine and worrying about alcohol intake was in vain.
While at the courtyard, we found ourselves sitting behind a couple of old hags who I want to murder. Okay, that's not quite true. However, they were miserable bags who barely said a word to each other and whose presence was depressing. Perhaps the biggest sin they committed involved smoking... in fact only one of them smoked, but I blame the other one too. The smoker insisted on taking occasional drags, but holding the cigarette at her ear in between - basically I was getting huge lungfuls of her unfiltered smoke. I blame this for my problem later on (see later on). I firmly believe that smokers only have the right to smoke if they can promise to absorb every last sodding molecule of the nasty chemical effluent that is their drug of choice. I don't want a faceful of someone's smoke and I promise not to dump my chips in someone else's lap (assuming that chips are one of my addictions).
Mal and I parted company for me to go and see The Flirt Lab, whose performers I'd met briefly as they were coming out of a lift show. After this show I zoomed over, with ten minutes to spare, to try to catch a ticket for Barry Cryer's show at the Gilded Balloon - I succeeded. Then, with another ten minutes to spare, I went to see what "That's Life" was like - this was the musical whose producer had held a workshop on making a new musical. I asked him if he wanted feedback and he did. Feedback he got. I'd like to point out that his feedback (some of which is below) was fuelled by the combination of things he'd described as of importance in a musical and the events I witnessed as unfolding on his stage. I bought the CD of the show - perhaps to make amends for the frankness of my thoughts, and perhaps because I will come to love some of the show on second and third hearing.
Sadly, my other planned two shows could not be attended. I started to feel my stomach go into the cramp or whatever it was that I suffered a couple of weeks previously. I headed home for another few hours of pre-sleep pain before I could sleep it off. At the height of my discomfort, wondering if I was harbouring an inflamed appendix or something, I rang NHS direct. Their evaluation reassured me that I was not about to rupture something, but their advice was inspiring. Have a drink of water and go to bed... How do they think of it. I'm paraphrasing... it was actually a little more sophisticated, but not much! I would like to know what sets off this stomach pain. The only things I can think of as possible contributing factors are:
On both occasions, all of those have been noticeably present in the day - perhaps more than usual. I hasten to add that the Twix bar is something that I've only ever had on those two occasions this year, hence mentioning it. Perhaps I've a guilty conscience. I'm not sure if I really did overeat either... another guilty conscience perhaps.
Show: Bad Play
Performed by: The Trap
When: 14:30
Where: C Main
Cost: £7.50
Still bad. Still funny!
Show: The Flirt Lab
Performed by: Faultless and Torrance
When: 18:30
Where: C Main
Cost: £0
I got this show for nothing on a buy 5 get 1 free offer.
I enjoyed the show - very well performed and nicely written. Some useful genuine flirting facts and a lot of amusement from the desperation of the two characters to use their show to pick up men. The audience didn't give it much of a reaction with the exception of a few people, who I think are friendly with the performers, who seemed to be overreacting - possibly making the rest of the audience a bit suspicious.
I was picked out of the crowd for one scene and did my best not to steal focus, while also not really being able to be a victim for their humour, since I'm fairly unfazed by having the spotlight on me. I played the stooge as well as I could. I was slightly unimpressed to be the subject of baldness gags, but if the cap fits... ... then perhaps it can be used to cover the bald patch! Baboom!
Show: Unplugged
Performed by: Barry Cryer and Ronnie Golden
When: 19:45
Where: Gilded Balloon Teviot
Cost: £10
Barry Cryer is an institution. I missed his show last year. I wanted to see him this year and see him I did. He was doing a music based show with Ronnie Golden, whom I'd not heard of. In between songs were plenty of classic Cryer gags, some of which I have one video at home from 10 years ago... However, he can still crack a nice joke, suggesting that something was as unlikely as Graham Norton being the father of Jeremy Clarkson showing his true skill.
His partner in crime was clearly a good comedy songwriter, doing a spoof 1950's do-wop song about terrorism called "Shoe-bomb", which I got immediately as a spoof of The Platters' "Sh-boom"... actually, I didn't, but I laughed at the title and so he pointed me out and said I did. I had missed the Sh-boom song bit of it but liked the way that "Shoe-bomb" sounded very do-wop. I redeemed myself by knowing the source song and being disappointed that he hadn't spoofed the entirely do-wop-based middle section of "yalalalalalah" which could have gone into "Y'alleh" and "Allah" territory.
Well conceived songs, well executed and I sat about 4 feet away from the feet of Mr Cryer. I was happy!
Show: That's Life
Performed by: Front Porch Theatre
When: 21:10
Where: St Augustine's
Cost: £8
After a workshop which showed how they had converted the very old play Everyman into a modern rock musical, and which included a few excerpts from the show which seemed pretty entertaining, I was glad to find myself sitting on the front row of the audience in the St Augustine's Church venue, getting ready to see this exciting new show.
There's no doubt that they had a wonderful cast. The leading lady, who plays death, is an exceedingly beautiful performer - and I mean that in all senses. Much of the rest of the cast, when given the chance to shine, did so with more than their fair share of youthful vigour. The band were also excellent, and even included one of the cast, whose character is a guitarist and so can play the occasional solo in some of the songs in character. Bass, drums, piano and guitar was all they needed for the majority of the orchestration.
There are a few tunes from this show that are now in my head. The composer is clearly good at what he does. In addition, the arrangements made very good use of their chorus and their instrumentalists. It was a very enjoyable experience to watch this show and the cast brought it to life well, even on a set made of scaffolding in a rather unatmospheric venue.
However, the producer had pointed out that there are two shows to look at. The production and the property. As a production it was excellent. As a property, a written work, I was less convinced. You can go back to the text book and ask the following questions:
You would have thought that someone who ran a workshop on making a musical and gave such sound advice on the subject would have pinned down some of these questions during their own creative process. I know that the longer you spend with a work, the harder it is to get that objectivity. In this show, I think there's a certain amount of self-delusion gone on. Having said that, I watched the show as a cynical English guy. I was unimpressed at the bastardisation of the concept of Schrödinger's cat as a device in one of the scenes. I was unimpressed at a character stating the obvious line "So, like, if I'd done more good deeds, it would be better". I found one of the most touching songs to be touching for formulaic reasons, rather than because it was genuinely moving. Having said that, the scene moved me greatly... but it had all been done before. I could have forgiven them if the underlying song had not overused several clichés, especially including the anthropomorphism of the heart.
Despite my criticism of this last scene, it was one of the few musical numbers that seemed to suit its purpose in the show. Much of the rest of the music seemed there so that the next member of the cast could have a song to sing. Putting songs in every few pages is gratuitous. Story first, drama next, songs to serve them. It didn't feel that way from where I was sitting.
I pointed out the lack of increasing drama and emotion in the script and was told that it was absent from the source material. The point I made was the first comment that the producer made in his workshop. It's not the story, it's how you tell it. There was enough material in the show to play it differently, with more of an increase in drama as the final judgement approached and with some of the songs reworked to seem more natural.
Oh, and the title's got to go. How about "Just business"?
Boy, I'm getting above myself these days!
Spent £25.50, saw 4 shows, almost pissed off one producer, and I was right!. At the day's end:
Total shows seen: 44
Total shows performed: 7
Total spent: £290.00
18 August 2003
Ashley Frieze