It's that time of year again. The double whammy of Halloween, where our distinctly un-American children go from door to door, dressed to scare and begging gifts according to American tradition, and Bonfire night, where we celebrate the death of a man who would be hailed as a hero today. If Guy Fawkes were now to make his attempt to destroy our politicians, as a stand against oppression, he would not be eviscerated and burnt, he would most-likely be promoted to high office - he might even become head of entertainment for the millennium dome!

Having lived in Newcastle for eight years, I am now fully accustomed to the joys brought by this season of the year. For a start, it's begging season. The sky might be blue and the grass may be green but I'll not be handing out cash to the kids knocking on my door, especially when it's still September. Similarly, I am not particularly inclined towards offering anything for "the guy", especially when that money will only go towards fireworks. Some of the kinder-hearted among you might think that I am being mean or uncharitable, taking this hard line. Indeed, surely there is nothing wrong with a few children getting into the spirit of things.

Unfortunately, the spirit of this season is far from innocent. This is the season of fireworks. From late September until mid November, the skies and streets of Fenham are aglow with pound after pound of high explosives, discharged, for the most part, by children and fools. If you like living in a war zone, then this is the place to come. These people are literally playing with fire and there is nothing spirited about it. The police are unable or unwilling to do anything to stop it and the peace is shattered time and time again. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy watching fireworks - in the right environment they are impressive and exciting - flying in all directions they are dangerous and a nuisance.

I was out for a walk with my partner last night. All of a sudden, there was a loud screeching, a missile was headed for us and, having missed by inches, it exploded loudly in someone's garden. That missile was a banger, which had been thrown at us from the back seat of a passing car. The car sped off and repeated the trick round the corner. The shock of the attack meant that neither myself nor my partner was able to get any details of the car or occupants before they disappeared - it took a few moments for us to work out what had actually happened to us. This sort of behaviour is unbelievably spiteful and dangerous but is just another aspect of this "silly season".

No doubt the Police, Fire and Ambulance services all do a good trade at this time of year, dealing with the few who come to justice for their actions. It 's almost poetic justice, akin to the chopping off of hands for thieves in middle-eastern countries, when a firework abuser gets their hands blown off or severely damaged. Unfortunately, it's not always the abusers who come to harm - often innocent bystanders are injured, either from maliciously or foolishly launched incendiary devices.

Now is the time to grow out of this irresponsible behaviour. Fireworks cannot be safely sold to just anyone. We should adopt a system like Australia uses. Fireworks should only be available for licensed displays and, even then, should only be bought a few days in advance. I could not give a flying bang about the profits made by local businesses from firework sales. Fireworks are dangerous devices which are too easily misused and which must be regulated. If you have any doubts about the sanity of this opinion, I will be only too happy to organise a group of youths to lob a banger in your general direction.

Written: 20 October 2000
Posted: 07 November 2000
Ashley Frieze