Strange things with bread

People often say to me: "Ashley, why do you insist on moaning about the most trivial of things?". The answer is simple, I am pathologically incapable of keeping quiet about anything which puzzles or annoys me.

Today's moan comes courtesy of Safeway, Cowgate, Newcastle upon Tyne, England. It's all about bread. I like bread and I like to buy two sorts of bread from this shop.

• The stottie - a local soft bread roll.
• The mini baguette - it's French and crusty and just enough for a quick snack between meals.

Since Safeway have their own bakery and since it is pretty good, this would normally be a trouble-free affair. However, there is a bizarre twist. Safeway have a problem with wrapping these freshly baked items.

• The stotties are wrapped, freshly baked, in airtight plastic wrap. This causes them to sweat and, if you're unlucky, become quite damp and spongelike.
• The baguette is beautifully wrapped in a plastic wrap sock (as supermarket baguettes often are). The plastic has perforations in order to avoid sweating. So far, so good. Unfortunately, this sock is only half the length of the baguette.

So, even with bread rolls, life cannot be simple. The sweating stotties can be spoiled by their wrap, while the frugal wrapping of baguettes is excellent for their crustiness and moisture retention, yet a pain in the neck when you get to the till.

You see, supermarket tills have conveyor belts that everyone's shopping has sat on, and that children have fingered for years before your visit. At the end of the till is the bag packing area which is also not the height of cleanliness; I would not eat my dinner off it. Unfortunately, with a semi-wrapped baguette, I am put in danger of having to eat something that has had contact with these unclean surfaces.

Someone's had a common-sense bypass.

I'd personally like to thank the till assistant, who, despite my balancing the baguette on top of my other shopping to avoid contact with the conveyor belt, managed to ensure that as much of it as possible had contact with the bag packing area when she had run it through the till.

Written: 07 February 2001
Posted: 28 April 2001
Ashley Frieze