There's probably no word for the feeling I had this lunchtime, so I had better explain what happened.

I had gone to Greggs, Northumberland Street, for 79 pence worth of bread-products. They have a bizarre queuing system which you join somewhere near the entrance and which winds its way past the refrigerators, hot snack area and, eventually, to the end of the rank of tills. When someone is ready to serve you, they call and you go to the till.

Today, I managed to join the queue near the hot snack area and, though it pained me, I was firmly resolved NOT to buy any hot snacks. Having reached the end of the till queue, I waited until someone called out their availability. Though there was a free till at the far end, the attendant had not called and was not looking my way. I waited. However, the woman at the till nearest me instructed me to go to the far till.

When I arrived at the far till, the woman there was in the middle of wandering off to do something else. Irritated at the prospect of re-queing, I stood behind the person at the nearest occupied till. When this customer went away, I expected to be served next. Despite being over 6 foot and over 23 stones in weight, the cashier failed to notice me. I spoke to her and said that I was the next person. She proceeded to ring through my order.

While processing my order, she politely and firmly told me that I should "join the queue next time". I explained that I had done and had been sent here under false pretences from the head of that queue but "thanks for letting me know anyway". I kept it in good humour, annoyed though I was.

When I received the handful of coins that should represent my £9.21 change from the £10 note I received, I gave it a quick count - there was at least £9.21 there. Moving outside the shop, I counted and recounted and found that I had been given £10.21 change.

Can you believe the joy? I know I couldn't. After about 10 milliseconds cogitation, I knew what I had to do. I could easily make this situation even better by taking a moral high ground, leaving me completely in the right!!!

I went back into the shop. The cashier gave me her attention when I went directly to her. She had a "now what?" expression on her face. I explained that for £10 I should have received £9.21 change. She looked worried. I then proceeded to count the £1 coins with her. "Two, four, six, eight, ten pounds twenty-one", I said...

I handed her a pound coin and left the shop without any further comment.

GOAL!!!

5 December 2000
Ashley Frieze