When enthusiasm for winning is not enough

I watch a lot of television. I cannot help it. I was brought up in the eighties and nineties - we were trained to be pacified by the four or five hours' television we could tolerate before complete eyestrain set in. In a vague attempt to keep my mind from atrophying completely, I like to watch quiz shows. Admittedly, Telly Addicts is hardly edifying, but some of the other quizzes are fun.

There's a problem, though. Quiz shows seem to fall into three main categories:

• Damned impossible - like University Challenge - where one can answer one question in the whole show, if it's a good day
• Completely easy - like most shows that are exclusive to the cable and satellite channels
• The others - Who Wants to be a Millionaire, The Weakest Link and so on

The problem I have is with the latter two categories. In a depressingly large number of cases, the contestants are incapable of answering even a few of the least challenging questions. Who Wants to be a Millionaire usually has contestants with some braincells, but some of the other shows are laughably under-provisioned with bright individuals.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to push some intellectual elite agenda. If someone is not very well educated, or has a lack of general knowledge, that does not make them a bad person. However, I would suggest that if you are ignorant, you should probably avoid applying for a general knowledge quiz. It makes sense, you are only going to make a complete arse of yourself.

I, for one, will continue shouting answers at the television and screaming at the ignoramuses (or even ignorami) who don't belong there. I can only hope that the decline in standards in our country's education will lead to a point where these fools can no longer work out how to apply to get on the shows.

The National Lottery Jet Set is definitely the show to watch if you want to see people fuelled only by their adrenaline and desire for a good prize... without a single brain cell in evidence.

27 February 2001
Ashley Frieze