Some people must be lower down the evolutionary ladder

If it helps, imagine a Richard Attenbrough voice over the next paragraph.

Within a few weeks of being born, the brain has already developed into a complex and powerful machine. Within a couple of years, complex spatial problems can be solved. By adulthood, even more difficult problems can be dealt with before you realise they've been presented. This is our genetic birthright as human beings.

Why, therefore, do I have to be served in shops by people without simple motor skills? On Saturday morning in Fenwick in Newcastle upon Tyne, I had the pleasure to be served at the delicatessen counter by such a being.

May I heartily recommend the sundried tomatoes from Fenwick - they are excellent in Italian dishes - I was using them as a pizza topping. Though I don't eat it myself, I think the seafood pescatore probably deserves an honorable mention, since my partner enjoys it greatly. However, to serve these items, the server must pick up a quantity from the dishes in the refrigerator units and drop it into a little pot for you to take away.

Due to the position of the scales, it is not possible to have two arms in the area of the dishes and this means you cannot hold the pot over certain dishes while filling. After dribbles of the oil (and other debris) from the seafood pescatore dropped into another dish (it was a vegetarian dish) with the first over-pass of the tongs, I would have expected the server to stop, think and move the dish onto the counter before continuing, thus eradicating further spillage. Expectations can often be left unmet. Even after I suggested she do this for the second hard-to-reach product, the assistant was convinced that her way was best.

So, if your mediterranean tomato and onion salad comes with free mussels, you'll know that you don't have me to thank - I merely ask to buy things and I refuse to be associated with the actions of someone who has not the sense that most humans are born with.

8 January 2001
Ashley Frieze