|Abysmal Ali||home > backlash|
They say you can't kid a kidder
I have been the victim of various wind-ups over the years. One of my favourites involved a certain Sergeant Pepper inviting me to the local police station. On that occasion, I'm proud to say that I told the person on the telephone how sincerely doubtful I was of his credentials. It's one thing leaving a phone call unsure if you've been the victim of a prank, quite another to play along as though it's completely real, just in case.
One thing about running a site like this is that you sometimes get strangers emailing you about the site's content. This can be a good thing - in most cases it has been nothing but entertaining (even when some people point out the foolishly made typographic errors left in some of my articles). However, in some cases I may appear to have a sign round my neck saying "if you are crazy, please direct your abuse at me".
I recently had an email dialogue with an internet user, who appears to have used my argument with Tesco as ammunition for an attempted wind me up. I was never convinced and, after the first email exchange, was fairly clear with them about my doubts. Here is what happened, make up your own mind.
official note from the tesco department:
my name is Ali from the customedepartment of Tesco . A while ago you wrote us that you actually found an insect in your food. We then apologized and we know want to apoligize for this major mishap too. but we warn you,if you take any actions against us in a legal way,we are forced to take actions against you and you don't want that so just forget it please(we wish we could say this more politely)
if in any way you think that you can take legal actions or something like that against us then you're wrong...
if you have any questions on this mail them to email@example.com
Ali haysa official representative of the legal rights of Tesco in Europe
There's only one way to deal with people like that and that's to ask them what they're playing at...
I am confused about the purpose of your email. Please clarify why you are writing to me.
Insistent about my so-called activities... and a very legal attitude.
You emailed us about your activities.
we are not impressed ,after all we have the power to sue you so please go away.
politely farewell customerservice Tesco
Something smelled rather bad...
I sent you no emails. I corresponded with Tesco by letter only. Therefore, I suspect that someone is playing a bad joke - either it is you, or someone else on the internet.
In addition, I doubt that a "customerservice" centre in the Netherlands would deal with a complaint made in the UK. If you have a legal case you wish to discuss, then please my I suggest you send a solicitor's letter to the postal address you have used in previous correspondence with me. Otherwise, I shall assume that you are wasting your time and mine.
A quick change of department... and some made up internet law...
I am not wasting your day , and we have to take legal actions against you now ,you will receive your Jnk profile in your e-mail box very soon and we will track your adress (according to law 5526 Bh).
If the honorable gentleman still doesn't believe us then we hope to convince him hereby.
the only way to prevent this is to sent your official apologies to the Tesco department.
once again to :firstname.lastname@example.org
in doing so you provide us with the information that we need.
we apologize for any inconvenience that this has caused and we assure you that this will not take place any more if you cooperate with us normally.
goodday. marketing -department Tesco
Call the bluff - appearing to take it seriously. Make them raise their game or sod off.
Please send me the telephone number of your colleagues in the UK. I will give them a call and I am sure we can resolve this matter.
I must be clear with you. So far, I have had a series of emails which look like the work of someone having a joke. There's no way that Tesco would employ someone with poor English and a series of random signatures and email styles, and a non Tesco email address, to act on their behalf legally. Either you are having a joke, which is not really very funny, or your department is run very badly.
As far as I am concerned, I have nothing to fear - I have broken no laws, nor have I acted in a defamatory manner. Therefore, if you really think you have a valid action to take against me, I would like to hear it from an English speaking lawyer.
Until I receive proof positive that this is not a scam, I will repeat my assertion that you are wasting my time.
I think I had him on the run...
I APOLOGIZE FOR THE INCOVENIENCE THAT THIS HAS CAUSED YOU. YOU WILL NOT HEAR ANY WORD AGAIN FROM THIS E-MAIL ADDRES AND I WOULD LIKE TO ASK YOU VERY MODESTLY TO FORGET THIS MATTER FOR OUR OWN SAKE. PLEASE FORGET THIS MATTER AND YOU WILL NOT RECEIVE ANY OTHER MAILS FROM OUR DEPARTMENT. THERE SEEMED TO BE SOMETHING WRONG WITH OUR SERVICES. I APOLOGIZE ONCE MORE FOR ANY INCOVENIENCE THAT THIS MAY HAVE CAUSED YOU. (NOTE:our "poor language skills" come from a new employee that we have hired.)
we would also like to ask you to respond to this letter one more time and to cancel this.
for any other information you can always contact us at the official TESCO site or at email@example.com (official representative of the legal rights of Tesco in Europe)
We would also like to ask you to treat this matter as confedential as we don't want this to become a scandal.
our deepest excuses,
Ali shir firstname.lastname@example.org
He still wants a quick apology or some sort of acceptance of his status. I used the ultimate answer - pretending to be getting him into trouble. Almost as funny as actually complaining to Tesco and really getting him into bother. Decided not to be a complete bastard over it. The message I sent bounced, since tescolegal.com is a non-existent domain (I checked before using it). Just a nice way to put the wind up good old Ali!
I am writing to inform you of some strange activity. Please note the email thread below. There appears to be someone with a Wanadoo.nl email address who is trying to pretend to be a member of your legal team. I am most offended at the suggestion that I have been involved in illegal activities and I suggest you pursue this person for both slandering my name and also misrepresenting Tesco.
Should you require any more information, please call me on the telephone number I gave on my original correspondence with your department.
This looks like an email joke which has gotten out of hand - I do not think Tesco should let the matter rest.
Best regards Ashley Frieze
Oh dear. He must have tried to explain himself to them and then found out that they did not exist.
From: Shir [email@example.com]
Date: 1 November 2002
A time for peace. No reply to this, so far.
From: Ashley Frieze
To: Shir [firstname.lastname@example.org]
Date: 4 November 2002
I think we played this game enough.
Your joke was quite funny, but I could not work out what you were trying to make me do.
Who are you really? How did you find out about my site?
I hope the email I sent to you and the completely made up "tescolegal.com" did not cause you too much concern. I thought you might see the funny side.
Better luck next time.
I think we've all learned something here. I am not sure what it is. Answers in an email - usual address.
07 November 2002