Just add sunshine...

It is only natural, at this time of year, for the nearby hostelries to open their outdoor facilities. Indeed, one of my favourite haunts The Badger in Ponteland, Newcastle upon Tyne, even has a heated garden, hence the following sign outside their front door:

Night and day, you're alway's warm in the Badger heated garden

Well, I tried to rub off the apostrophe, which had been incorrectly placed so inventively in the word always, but the chalkboard appeared to have been painted on, so my damp thumb was no use. I would not have expected this error - perhaps a mistake in the word you're would be more natural, so ten out of ten for originality.

I have had problems with these guys and their signs before. They still recommend a wine to compliment certain dishes from their restaurant, despite my pleas to replace this homonym with its counterpart complement. Of course, I may have the wrong end of the stick, their wine might actually talk and describe their food in glowing terms.

Pigs might also fly!

25 May 2001
Ashley Frieze