All I need now is some underwriters

I have an idea. We should try and set up an insurance policy against the misuse of the apostrophe. Then, people who lose their apostrophes can have them replaced, and those who find unnecessary apostrophes in their text can be provided with the means to have the unsightly beggars removed.

Consider Lloyds TSB, the UK bank of which I am a customer. They lost their apostrophe many years ago. Tragically.

Their buildings go without the mark that would indicate that the bank is owned by Lloyd (or even many Lloyds). However, they have been blighted for a second time only recently. In offering a motor loan with insurance against the car needing repairs for its MOT test, they fell foul of the possessive pronoun its - some fool accidentally stuck an apostophe in their expensive leaflet.

Clearly they need to look for an insurer before they make themselves look any more stupid!

17 May 2001
Ashley Frieze